Kentucky

Our favorite chicken, our americauna, was killed the other night by a raccoon after we left the coop door open. We were heartbroken and felt stupid and careless. Kentucky was always the most curious of our three chickens, climbing on structures to see views and wandering into the kitchen to see what was cooking. She and our Rhode Island Red came all the way into the house the other day when the side door was open and while I was upstairs. I heard a weird clacking noise downstairs and came down to see them pecking at the cat food. When I tried to usher them out, they decided to head into the living room instead. There was some scratching and scurrying and fluttering of wings before they were captured and booted out the door.

Poor little Kentucky. She was a great chicken with delicious dark brown eggs. She was never broody, and she wasn't loud or domineering. We miss her.

10 list

A teaser of my wedding dress

I missed this post last week, and I almost missed it this week. But I honestly feel that taking the time to have gratitude for the things in my life at present is transforming me. To put it simply, I am happier. I am learning to be more compassionate and less controlling, more accepting of myself and those around me, less reactive to stressful situations, and more joyful. Every moment is a new moment and a clean slate. Every day is sacred.

Here are some things in my life that rock my socks!

1. Soak, a festival of fire, music, dancing, gifting, volunteerism, waterfalls, and rain (and much more!) that I went to with friends and learned to love my friends and self more and more.
2. Going to get my wedding dress yesterday and trying it on for the first time!!!
3. The life of Kentucky (more on this to come in a future post).
4. The fact that it's summer vaca and yesterday I forgot that it was Friday, the day I normally would post this!
5. Being able to sit with a delicious egg and spinach burrito and a cup of coffee while writing.
6. The beautiful, beautiful people in my life. This is really one of the great things about getting older, isn't it? We learn what kind of people we want to surround ourselves with, and our friends are our friends purely because we love each other and that's all we have to gain from each other, is the joy of love.
7. The smell of jasmine in bloom.
8. Hot showers.
9. The many many many beautiful moments that make up a wedding day, because a wedding is more than just that one day: it's shopping with friends, toasting with friends, crafting with friends, solitary musings over vows, choosing readings with your loved one, the shared excitement and joy at the life you've chosen, texting mom questions, texting sisters questions...So many moments shared with so many people, all special.
10. Geraniums blooming in pots on porches.

What are you grateful for? Happy weekend. xo.

nom nom!

I am entering the end of the second day of a three-day detox, something that I wanted to start the summer off with after a stressful year of school and then some end-of-the-year celebrating.

I have never done a detox before, and I have to say that this one is particularly gentle and simple, especially if you are already a fan of veggies and whole grains. It basically consists of whole grains and fruits and veggies, with no caffeine, dairy, alcohol, meat, or simple sugars. I have started the past two mornings with a bowl of oatmeal with strawberries, for lunch yesterday I had quinoa salad, for dinner we ate brown rice with tons of awesome greens and veggies, for lunch today I had a large spinach salad, and for dinner, this amazing wheat berry salad. For more on my detox, go here.

Which brings me to the first ever "nom nom!" post! "Nom nom!" will focus on my discoveries about food that I suddenly feel everyone should know. What should you know? About wheat berries! What should you know about them? They are a whole grain, easy to prepare (if you have the time), and delicious. (Some of my readers have been eating them for ages, I'm sure; while others of you may be like me and have never tried them.) You can treat them like quinoa or couscous. In the salad above, I dressed them with olive oil, fig balsamic vinegar, lime juice, salt, pepper, cilantro, chopped mint, chopped arugula, cumin, coriander, and tarragon. Then I added everything delicious and wonderful that I could: celery, carrots, strawberries, avocado, spinach, purple cabbage, pea tendrils, red onion soaked in vinegar, garlic, and green onion.

Nom nom! So good!

Here's how to cook wheat berries: put 1 cup of wheat berries into 3 cups of boiling water for about 3 servings. Cook them on low heat for about 45-50 minutes (until soft and chewy), and then drain.

Enjoy! xo.

Solstice

Bench outside of my neighbor's house

Happy Solstice!

Wishing you a wonderful and sacred longest day of the year. If you didn't stand on a hill, surprised by an amazing sunset in the midst of gathering clouds, then I hope you did something luscious to celebrate the start of summer. And if not, do something luscious soon.

xo.

10 list

Gratitude brings us closer to the present moment. We become more engaged and more awake when we fill our lives and hearts with gratitude. This is something worth striving for every day, every moment.

1. Iced tea made from loose-leaf darjeeling.
2. Sun-soaked morning.
3. Sun-soaked afternoon.
4. A kitty meowing for attention.
5. The first day of summer vacation.
6. The smell of incense.
7. A freshly cleaned house.
8. Life's synchronicities.
9. A morning bike ride.
10. Now.

Have a wonderful weekend. xo.

34 by 35: Routine vs. Ritual

Take the time to smell the roses.

It's the last week of school, which means in four days, I will be enjoying days that stretch out like blank canvases. That means sleeping in, lounging around, wandering aimlessly around my house staring at books and projects, trying to decide what to accomplish, then getting caught up in a project and forgetting to eat and then realizing that it's 3 pm and I haven't really accomplished a whole lot, nor have I eaten anything yet. Then getting stressed because I'm not being as healthy or as productive as I wanted to be! Ah! Sounds...awful.

If you're anything like me, you actually do better with some routine in your life (you also live in denial of this fact and love breaking out of routine because the word "routine" itself sounds confining and, well, boring). For example, you are more likely to make that dentist appointment, get those taxes done, or make that gift when you have a structured day (wake, work, come home, exercise, eat dinner, etc).

So this summer, I am going to create a summer morning ritual (a much better word than "routine") which will hopefully jump start my days into a positive productive motion that will enable me to enjoy my time in a healthy and accomplished way. I will start off each day de-stressing in a purposeful way.

Here's the plan, inspired by the ladies at the Maven Circle:

1. When I wake up, I'm going to drink water and eat a small breakfast like a green smoothie, bit of yogurt, a banana, or a piece of toast. I habitually don't drink enough water, and it makes such a huge difference in my energy level and skin when I do. So hydration first thing, as well as a small snack to give me a little boost through step 3.

2. I am then going to read for at least a half an hour. Anything I want. Blogs or novels or articles. Just read.

3. I will then exercise. This might mean a walk, a hike, a run, a bike ride, a bike ride to a yoga class, or a Pilates DVD. It might be 10 minutes of exercise or an hour, but every day I'm going to do something.

4. Shower, brush teeth, get dressed. Even if I plan on staying home all day, I will feel refreshed and ready for the day.

5. Meditate for at least 10 minutes.

6. Eat a real meal, maybe some eggs or a sandwich. Something yummy and fulfilling.

Then I will start my goals for the a day, be they wedding plans or working on projects around the house or even just going and sitting by the river because it's too hot to do much else. At least I'll have started my day off in a healthy way.

What rituals or routines do you try to maintain to keep you healthy and productive?

Here's an update on my list. I've made a few minor changes based on some realities.

34 by 35 list of goals.
Deadline: Jan. 15, 2013

Wedding:
1. Wedding favors, embroidery design, and labels. Started to some degree.
2. Handmade bridesmaid gifts. One done, one almost done, two designed.
3. Creative aspect for the ceremony that is true to us. Perhaps a poem? Started.
4. Be super organized and thus more ability to relax as people start to arrive to town: create a calendar and stay on schedule. Going to revisit this on Friday. A bit off schedule.
5. Help with handmade invites and create a way to display photos. Invites in the mail.
6. Enjoy every second of our wedding day.

Garden:
7. Build an herb spiral. Done but not planted.
8. Build a pond.
9. Landscape around redbud and apple tree. Sheet mulched and in progress.
10. Strawberry (and borage?) patch
11. Prep garden for spring 2013 planting
12. Try vermicomposting (again).

Chickens/Ducks:
13. Slaughter 1 chicken myself.
14. Get baby chickens.
15. Help build new coop in side yard.
16. Get ducks. I'm honestly not sure that this is a realistic goal for this year because of the prep work that needs to be done.

Bees:
17. Go to beekeepers meetings
18. Learn more about TPH management
19. Get a colony for new Langstroth hive It's too late for this, but that's ok. We didn't force it. B. built a hive and we're ready for more bees when the time is right.

Travel:
20. Get a new passport
21. Save money for Fiji
22. Go backpacking this summer

Physical health:
23. Run a 10k
24. Get bike fixed. Done.
25. Bike to yoga 1x per week-2x per month With the exception of when I was sick, I am being pretty good with both 25 and 26.
26. Run/bike/hike 12-25 miles per week

Tend:
27. Renew teaching cert. Done
28. Clean kitchen top-to-toe
29. Paint trim inside house
30. Make bedroom and closet curtains
31. Sand, stain, paint, and make front porch look pretty.

Learn/create:
32. Learn to knit and finish at least one project Develop embroidery work and keep designing and creating.
33. Read 10 books, including one on film.
34. Continue to develop identity and readership for blog. Ideas and lists are being made.

10 list

Sunflower by Liz Collins

What are you grateful for? Take a moment to reflect and be thankful. Happy weekend!

1. Sunflowers!
2. The creative people in my life.
3. The first cherries of the season.
4. Summer reading lists.
5. Crisp sunny mornings after a rainy night.
6. Cloudy days for sipping coffee and grading.
7. The approach of summer.
8. Streaks of light lingering in the sky well after 9 pm.
9. My talented and loving life partner.
10. Elephants.

Please feel free to comment with some of your own blessings in life. xo.

The Sunflower Project

Sunflowers represent the sun. They represent adoration, as they follow the sun's path across the day's sky. They are symbols and examples of the golden ration. They are a combination of beauty and utility. Bees love them. They are easy to grow and yet impressive. They are perfect for the permaculturalist because of their ability to provide shade, borders, beauty, seeds, oil, and food for the pollinators.

I love them.

In my dining room hangs the above photograph of a sunflower from my garden two years ago. Above it, a framed photograph from my mom of a field of sunflowers on a breezy Pennsylvania afternoon. On an adjacent wall hangs a close-up of two sunflowers with some baby's breath from a wedding bouquet, a photograph taken by my artistic friend Gary.

So I've dubbed our dining room the "Sunflower Room," and I'm asking for contributions. If you'd like to participate, I would love to have you mail or e-mail me your favorite sunflower photograph for me to frame and add to our Sunflower Room as a reminder of our community of friends, fellow bloggers, family, and so forth.

So if you'd like to contribute, please leave me a comment below. And thank you. 

10 list

"T" by Jacob Magraw.

While my American literature students read The Great Gatsby, I was again struck by the importance of gratitude in our lives. These characters are corrupt, hollow men and women. They follow the siren song of the American Dream, or live in spiritless boredom, destroying everything around them, once they have it. They have no gratitude, only desire. Only greed, hunger, and  the belief that they will be filled by something that will only continue to eat them.

Thus, with great gratitude, I present my list for this week:
1. This beautiful and inspiring garden of "T" by the Seattle artist Jacob Magraw. So lovely.
2. Beginning a morning ritual, even if it's just a few simple, slight changes to my morning routine.
3. Being a teacher.
4. Having the ability to surround myself with people who inspire me and push me to do better, be better.
5. A moonlit bike ride over the St. John's bridge.
6. My breath.
7. For you, reader.
8. Digging in the dirt, planting food and flowers.
9. Self-improvement and growth. I am a garden that I must tend.
10. Stories.

Johnny Appleseed: verb

This year, we are being very casual about our garden. We have a lot of landscaping that we want to do: add a back door off of the kitchen and onto a deck, where there will be a table, chairs, grill, and potted plants; move the chicken coop to the side yard and make a home for ducks as well, including building some sort of water-efficient pond that at least uses rain water and at best also utilizes some of the grey water from our house; getting rid of the grass in our front yard and adding flowering shrubs, edible plants, etc. to feed us and the bees, butterflies, birds and other beneficial little creatures.

So this year, one of our favorite words is "johnny appleseed," used as a verb, such as: "I johnny appleseeded cosmos in the front bed" or "I am going to johnny appleseed cucumber in the garden." Definition: throw seeds in a careless manner wherever you hope that that particular plant appears. So, I am curious about how stuff will turn out.

For one, apart from some cosmos, sunflower, bachelor buttons, and poppies, we haven't bought any seeds. They've been gifted to us or dug up from our old collection. Also, the sheet mulching of one of our gardens is still in progress. For months, since last November probably, I've been throwing newspaper out on that area and then covering it with used straw from the chicken coop. Thus the garden you see above. I made a pathway with cardboard, and planted kale and beans. Then I johnny appleseeded  cucumber and pumpkin seeds on the right. Brian has tomato starts going, and I have no idea what they are: probably all heirlooms left over from last year. Those are in his plastic hot house that he rigged up.

We also have a few pepper plants that will be in containers this year. Brian also built a few planter boxes along the back fence, and those have green beans, peas, and mesclun seeds. One is still empty. I might plant beets in there or stagger some green beans. I love fresh beans.

And of course, I'm staggering the planting of sunflowers, nasturtiums, and cosmos. And I could resist buying some lavender plants.

One of my sunflowers makes a small start to glory.

I'll be happy with whatever comes up as we continue landscaping and really transforming the yard into a sanctuary for a myriad of creatures, big and small, including ourselves. In the meanwhile, it will be fun to see what happens with what we've johnny appleseeded: Will the pumpkins thrive? Will the kale come up?

I have herbs, but for the most part, those are all living in containers until the back deck and door are built and we've designed an herb garden somewhere in sunlight and simultaneously as close the the kitchen door as possible. But currently, I've got thyme, Italian parsley, oregano, marjoram, chives (the blossoms of which are peppery, spicy, and delicious), and rosemary (which I did plant because it will grow into a large shrub).

Oh, and apologies to the late Mr. Appleseed.

Maybe Sometimes

"Maybe sometimes when we see others' ideas, we think, wow, that person is smart or so creative or whatever...when they may be thinking the same thing about you." --from my Aunt Sally.

the 10 list

This week gratitude comes a day late, at least in written form. That's because I have a four-day weekend and was busy sleeping in, browsing through vintage and antique shops in my neighborhood, grading at a local coffee shop, and enjoying food and companionship with friends yesterday. Today, a quiet day of planting strawberries, reading, and sewing.

Which leads me right into this week's 10 list:

1. Delicious eggs from home with home-grown greens and amazing toast with brie and vinaigrette with three amazing people who are artists and teachers, passionate about permaculture, spiritual leadership, and creativity.
2. Eating dinner with two people who are passionate about reading, surrounding ourselves with books and dreaming of all the great reading we're going to do this summer.
3. Discovering a book on my book shelf that I want to read but thought was lost.
4. Having a creative project turn out better than expected.
5. Cloudy Portland days: while I don't like them everyday, they are emblematic of this lovely piece of the world and I love them, sometimes.
6. The way Forest Park wraps around St. John's and reminds me so much of the Appalachian Mts. where I grew up.
7. That next week the St. John's farmer's market opens for the season! And it's only 4 blocks from my house!!!
8. My sweet friends who hosted a lovely wedding shower for me and helped me make flag pendants to decorate the wedding with.
9. Being able to write, plant, and create.
10. Today.

What are you grateful for? xo.

Gettin' Truthy: I Doubt It

"I doubt that camera in my face."

This post is part of Truthy Tuesdays, a new weekly over at the Maven Circle, where Jen and Jena work to empower women through encouraging them to trust their own ideas, voice, talents, etc. and guiding them to find the courage and confidence to live their dreams.

This week's topic is self-doubt: where it comes from and how to combat it. So I started thinking about what makes me feel SELF-DOUBT, that poison that tells us to STOP rather than GO. That voice that says, I CAN'T rather than I CAN.

I feel self-doubt when I compare myself to others. And I do this all the time!
I do this mostly at work, as an educator: I compare myself to other teachers. I see them thinking in ways that I don't. I see them interacting with students in ways that seem better than my interactions with students. I compare and then I doubt myself, and then the "enoughs" creep in: "I'm not smart enough; I'm not compassionate enough," etc. It's a poison fueled in part by job insecurity and in part by my own lack of confidence. This also happens with my blog. All the time.

I feel self-doubt in situations when praise is expected but not given.
Social networking is a good example--but not the only example. Sometimes sites like facebook unleash the sides to my personality that I loathe: my vanity and insecurity. The desire to be praised. The part of me that wants attention and validation. And when I'm not validated--or again, if I compare myself to how much attention others get vs. myself, I feel like I'm losing a popularity contest. I'm not as cool. Or worse, I'm not as loved.

I feel self-doubt when I create expectations for myself and then don't meet them.
For whatever reason. Is this the sign of a type A personality? Does it indicate that I ask too much of myself? Is this just NORMAL? We are a creative, industrious species. We love to learn and create. But shit, we also love to kick back with friends or with a good book or movie. So, there's the fine line: setting goals, having high expectations, and learning to forgive ourselves when it doesn't all get done.

I feel self-doubt often. Too often. When a student criticizes me. When a friend seems cold. When I look at my own work. When I compare myself to co-workers. Self-doubt seems to always be there, lurking on the sidelines, waiting to pounce. But I think that one way to fight it is to recognize its sources. I've been admitting to myself my issues with praise, and I am acknowledging those feelings when they crop up, but it's easier also to let them go once faced. I caught myself in the act of comparing myself to someone else, and I thought: She's awesome. And I'm wasting time. There are more productive things for me to be focusing my thoughts and energy on.


So maybe that's part of the process of doubting less and believing more: AWARENESS. I am aware of when I doubt, and I've already started to kill it in its tracks.

10 List

Of course, grateful for this little guy.

A lot of grading and a severe sinus infection have prevented me from posting much of late--or accomplishing much. But I am visualizing health and manifesting a wonderful weekend. It is Friday, the day I like to dedicate here to gratitude. Being grateful for the beauty in our world--consciously reminding ourselves, every day, of that beauty, helps inspire us to create more beauty.

And so here are 10 things on my list right now:

1. My cold is past the worst and I'm on my way back to golden health.
2. My cousin's hubby got accepted into Penn State for engineering.
3. This weekend is my local bridal shower with some of my best Portland girls!
4. Sunshine in Portland for 2 weeks straight!
5. That my friends have a brand new, healthy, beautiful baby girl.
6. Being industrious and getting my house cleaning out of the way first thing so that it's not hanging over my head all weekend. (Now I should sit and do some grading.)
7. Having an amazing yard with so much potential for ducks, chickens, bees, fruit, veggies, flowers, herbs.
8. Discovering the loveliness of the roses, irises, lillies, and columbine that have been planted here before we moved in.
9. Herb spirals.
10. Fresh eggs.

What are you grateful for in your life? xo.

Irises and columbine along one side of our house.

34 by 35: Evolving Goals and the Journey

I've been thinking a lot about goals. We tend to give ourselves a lot of grief if we do not accomplish our goals. But we forget that our goals change; there are a myriad of goals that I have created for myself since writing my 34 by 35 list. Many of these goals relate to my spiritual life, and ironically, much of my spiritual musings of late are about not becoming too attached to our goals. There are a few basic reasons for this:

-Focusing on the achievement of the goal is like focusing only on the last bite of a delicious bowl of gelato. Do I really want to learn to knit just so that I can have another scarf? No. I want to learn to knit for the challenge, the potential community of knitters/crafters, and the creative license it would give me. And yes, maybe for some cool scarfs, but that's only a small part of it.

Focus on the journey, not only the end point.

-Journeys can be rather dull if we follow the road given us. Sometimes we don't end up where we planned. Sometimes we decide, along the way, that we want to end up somewhere else. And that's okay. We go on journeys to learn and grow, and if we get too stuck on where we want to end up, we won't really grow, change, or learn.

Flexibility will lead to unexpected outcomes.

Does this mean that setting goals is a bad thing? Right now, my answer is no. I think that goals help brighten our path. Goals inspire us to pack our bags and go on that journey. And yeah, we might not get far or might get lost along the way, but at least we took the trip.

Meanwhile, I crossed off a few of my 34 by 35 that I did accomplish thus far.

34 by 35 list of goals.
Deadline: Jan. 15, 2013

Wedding:
1. Wedding favors, embroidery design, and labels.
2. Handmade bridesmaid gifts.
3. Creative aspect for the ceremony that is true to me. Perhaps a poem?
4. Be super organized and thus more ability to relax as people start to arrive to town: create a calendar and stay on schedule.
5. Help with handmade invites and create a way to display photos.
6. Enjoy every second of our wedding day.

Garden:
7. Build an herb spiral.
8. Build a pond.
9. Landscape around redbud and apple tree.
10. Strawberry (and borage?) patch
11. Prep garden for spring 2013 planting
12. Try vermicomposting (again).

Chickens/Ducks:
13. Slaughter 1 chicken myself.
14. Get baby chickens.
15. Help build new coop in side yard.
16. Get ducks.

Bees:
17. Go to beekeepers meetings
18. Learn more about TPH management
19. Get a colony for new Langstroth hive

Travel:
20. Get a new passport
21. Save money for Fiji
22. Go backpacking this summer

Physical health:
23. Run a 10k
24. Get bike fixed
25. Bike to yoga 1x per week-2x per month
26. Run/bike/hike 12-25 miles per week

Tend:
27. Renew teaching cert.
28. Clean kitchen top-to-toe
29. Paint trim inside house
30. Make bedroom and closet curtains
31. Sand, stain, paint, and make front porch look pretty.

Learn/create:
32. Learn to knit and finish at least one project
33. Read 10 books, including one on film.
34. Continue to develop identity and readership for blog

10 List

Gratitude is in part about recognizing that wherever we want to end up comes second to the present moment and the process or journey of achieving our dreams and goals. I have many goals. But often, when I achieve a goal, the sense of accomplishment is no more special or gratifying than the many steps I took and ways I learned and changed along that goal's path. And sometimes my goals change. And that's okay too: it doesn't mean that I failed. It means I grew and reflected and thought about where I really want to be and what truly makes me happy.

Here are ten things that I feel grateful for having in my life right now, as is.

1. Being reminded that the present moment is sacred.
2. A fantastic yoga class.
3. Being invited to join a book club to study the Yoga Sutras.
4. Having a really fun engagement photo shoot with my man.
5. That little Leno (Puddles the cat) seems to be feeling better and eating more.
6. Having found a really inspiring and wonderful poem that we can't wait to share on our wedding day.
7. Finding a craft that truly makes me feel joyful during the process: embroidery.
8. Irises in bloom.
9. My loved ones, both family and friends.
10. Gaining a stronger sense of the things that make me happy.

xo. Happy week ending and Cinco de Mayo.

Guitar Girl!

I finished another embroidery project today: this one was designed by Lucky Jackson. Check out her awesome blog 365 Lucky Days. You can buy this pattern and other great patterns here.

My next embroidery project is going to be one of my own design. In fact, I have it all set up and am ready to start embroidering; however, since it's part of the wedding plans, I won't be able to share it on my blog for a long long time.

I find that sewing patterns by other people is like tracing and teaching oneself to draw. Or reading writing by someone else in order to become a better writer. Hopefully, Jackson's pattern will help me a long in my next project.

The 10 List

A moment of gratitude to end the week. What small, almost-unnoticed or wonderful, monumental moments are you grateful for in your life?

1. The smell of cut grass.
2. The smell of spring rain.
3. Pink petals raining down from the trees.
4. Knowing that those who seem the happiest work hard for their happiness through focus on physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual health (there's a comfort/inspiration in that fact).
5. Escaping from jury duty unscathed.
6. Food carts and bubble tea.
7. The blossoming of a new book club!
8. Being inspired by a friend who is an artist and full of light and energy.
9. Making handmade wedding invites and knowing that these are some of the most important invitations I'll ever make in my life!
10. Being able to listen when someone just needs to talk.

xo.

Super Girl!

Here is Super Girl! Isn't she adorable? She was a gift to my dear friend Jamie, who is having a little girl in late June. Her own little Super Girl.

This is not my design. It is from Imagine Gnats. You can buy this pattern from her shop on Etsy for $5 here.

So freakin' adorable I could poop! (How cute is that?!)

I want to make a little boy next for my same friend's soon-to-be-3 son. He will face the opposite direction and the two Super Heroes can hang out side-by-side.

How to make paper flag pendants

Today, I hosted a baby shower for a great friend of mine. My methods of decorating were as follows: paper flag pendants, house plants, annuals (that I can now plant in my containers and enjoy for the rest of their season).

For the pendants, you will need: adorable scrap-booking paper, scissors, twine/kitchen thread, mini hot glue gun, mini hot glue sticks.
Step 1: To save on paper, I simply cut the scrap-booking sheets into halves from corner to corner, creating four triangles.

Step 2: I assembled my twine, scissors and hot glue gun and hot glued the twin to the backs of the triangles, following as straight an edge as possible.

Step 3: I hung the pendants!!!!

This was super easy, and they're really cute. My friend and guest-of-honor loved them, and one guest said, "I wouldn't take them down."

I want some for my wedding, but I think that I will sew some fabric ones in case it's damp/raining.