10 List

I am in the processing of finishing my first embroidery portrait. Not bad for my first attempt, although I feel that it falls far short of my grandmother's adorable charm in the photograph. The more I look at this photo at her, the more I am struck by how uniquely beautiful she was. The final step is to applique the piece to fabric and frame it, and I have a few prints in contention for the job. A lovely butterfly print left over from an apron that I made for my sister; a simple turquoise polka-dotted print; and a flower print with greens, browns, and turquoise. I think I really bit off a large challenge for this first attempt because of her smile. It's so unique and toothy, and I probably would have had an easier time if I'd chosen a photo with a closed-mouth smile.

Here's what I am grateful for this week.
1. Both of my grandmothers, Rita and Eva. Aren't those both beautiful names as well?
2. Spring break begins today!
3. Green, blue and purple signs of spring.

4. The amazing massage that my friend Dan gave me yesterday, during which I was able to enter a deep state of relaxation.
5. Creative projects!
6. Dreading going on a run and then having a wonderful run during which I can process stress and develop ideas.
7. Watching students grow.
8. The fact that my class is over!
9. Celebrating the end of my class at Dove ViVi! Yum! Deep dish cornbread pizza with amazing local sausage!
10. My chickens and their wonderful eggs. And if I'm not wrong, I think the creatures are becoming more affectionate. I swear they love getting petted and nuzzled when I go outside to visit them.

In addition to finishing my grandmother's portrait, my next project is this Luck Jackson pattern that I purchased from her shop. I've read that great writers will sometimes, in moments of writer's block or frustration, copy the writing of those who inspire them. They will type out poems or entire chapters, and doing so will help them learn the rhythm and cadence of other writers. Annie Dillard says in The Writing Life:


On break, I usually read Conrad Aiken's poetry aloud. It was pure sound unencumbered by sense. If I ever caught a poem's sense by accident, I could never use that poem again. I often read the Senlin poems, and "Sea Holly." Some days I read part of any poetry anthology's index of first lines. The parallels sounded strong and suggestive. They could set me off, perhaps.

This is one of the reasons I bought Lucky Jackson's pattern. Not only do I like it, but I feel that I can learn some techniques by copying and sewing from another's design. That's the hope. The pattern is smaller and more detailed than the portrait outline of my grandmother, so that alone will be a good challenge.

herbalicious; or, yogurt face

I like to run. It's not my sole exercising venture. It's not my top pick. But, running can be really good to me, like today, when I was zoning out to bouncy dance beats and later, when the beats and melodies weren't quite as enticing, when I began to process some ideas that I'd had. I'm headed to a certain festival on Thursday, and at this festival, the spirit seems to be about creative freedom without the complications of commerce or greed. Creativity for creativity's sake. And also, giving for the pure sake of giving. Not everyone who attends this festival believes this or can/does follow this credo. But many do. Many, many do. And I realized, on my run, my own creative gift. So, upon returning from my run, I cut a basket full of herbs that I'd grown in my garden, I visited my local New Seasons, and I got to work.

Here's what I now have in front of me:

Cleansing facial wash: Made from my bees' honey, pure castile soap, vegetable glycerine, and lavender. So gentle and soothing. Honey is both cleansing and healing.

Salt scrubs to exfoliate: I made scrubs from lavender and rosemary; chamomile and lavender; bee balm and lavender; hyssop, mint, thyme, and rosemary; rosemary, citrus, lavender, and cloves; and one sugar scrub with basil, cloves, and orange zest. Making these was addicting, especially since I was working with my friend Amy. I can't wait to use them on my skin and to give them out as gifts to others. If any of these entice you, let me know, and I will send some your way.

Facial masks (not exactly sitting in front of me, because that would be gross): I plan to mix together yogurt and oatmeal, adding honey for dry skin and lime for oily skin. These masks, which should help rejuvenate skin that's been exposed to the sun and elements, will be applied for 15 minutes with cucumbers on the eyes.

Toner: A rosemary and rose hips toner spray, and a chamomile and mint toner for especially oily skin.

SPF 30 moisturizer, not made by me. And SPF 25 chapstick.

So next weekend, I will be giving free mini-facials in that order: cleansing, scrub, mask, toner, and SPF moisturizer, as well as a foot bath in minty carbonated water and then a minty foot lotion. I kept having these half-assed ideas: maybe I'd make bracelets or maybe I'd make tea. But this will be so soothing and fun and meaningful for people. And the fact that so many of the ingredients come from own yard is empowering.

Plein air day

A couple of weeks ago, Brian and I took some wooden backers for frames, paints, brushes, wine, cheese, and crackers to Cannon Beach on the coast, and then we parked ourselves on the beach and painted.

Here's the Rhode Island Red and Elijah, surfing. They're both coasting along pretty well, but behind them is Leno, who just wiped out and is swimming to retrieve is board.

Then we sat in the rain and watched an amazing sunset beneath the clouds and on the clear horizon with this couple who joined us at our fire. We ended up drinking wine and stoking the fire and getting to know them for a couple of hours and have since gotten together with them here in Portland. That was our plein air day at the coast.

light of the mind

My friend Avery is having an exhibit of her photos, and she asked some of her friends who have been or are writers to contribute a written piece for a photo of their choice. I love the photo selection which you can view here, but I chose this one because it reminded me of my role as an educator. Here's the poem that I sent off to her the other day (of course finding much fault with her a day later, but oh well, tis what it is).

The Light of the Mind

The teacher seeks to lead her students
out of the darkened room--
out of the closed spaces
that breed ignorance and beget fear—
into a world vast and surprising.

There is a key-hole,
a portal,
a chamber door into the sun
that even she seeks.

Sometimes, the darkness encloses her.
Sometimes, the sun warms her soul.
Sometimes she feels as though she's lost the key
or the magic spell.
Or that there is not just one, but many
riddles to unravel.

There are constants in this life.
Change. Oscillation. Growth.
Set backs. The fluttering of wings.
Heartbeats.
The constancy of learning
when the mind's doorway is open:

the constant journey
towards illumination
and enlightenment.

blogs, bee, teas, and things

I just discovered two lovely blogs. Tospann has an assortment of random photographs of lovely people, yellow thread and fabric, wine, and tea: a few of my favorite things! The above photo is from Tea For Joy, also a wonderful blog of art and photos with tea themes.

I'm thinking about taking this bee-keeping class. Yes, it's 101, but I feel like I could use a refresher course. Plus, my plans to build some bee-keeper community last September got derailed, so the class would be a way to make some connections. Also, I think that at some point I'd like to try a Langstroth hive, so there's yet another reason for the class. I just hope they're not Langstroth snobs who disparage top-bars and all hives that aren't Langstroth. The hive worlds have difficulties agreeing, somewhat like Republicans and Democrats in our current Congress.

All I want for Christmas is photoshop, I think. Or some sort of photo editing software. I'd like to continue to take photos throughout the winter, but it's rather difficult to take pictures at night with my craptastic flash or perhaps it's my limited knowledge of my camera that's to blame. I'm hoping to get oot and aboot with my camera this weekend, perhaps on a tromp through the woods to hunt for wild mushrooms and some digging in my own garden to plant those garlic and scallion bulbs.

Here's some loveliness from Tospann. It makes me want to sew.

strange fruit

Here's what I decided to do after learning I had the night off:

Months ago, Brian built shelves for the bathroom. This wood panel was the original top shelf, but since he rounded one corner, the shelf seemed a bit precarious: I was nervous someone might sit or lean on it and break it. So today, I decided to paint it. The background was already painted the same color as the bathroom walls. I grabbed my acrylics and painted the tree.
Then, I gathered materials: scraps of fabric, colored glass, broken jewelry, broken glass, paper doilies, cool paper, Modge Podge, and my hot glue gun.

And I started to glue and collage and decoupage and what have you. Then we hung it up in the bathroom, on the big blank blue wall. It looks pretty rad in there, I must say.

This beaded dream catcher/spider web is so beautiful and glistening. The photo (along with a series of other dream-like, seductive, creative photos) is from Souvenirs.

The Cherry Blossom Girl is another gorgeous blog with stunning photos of places and fashion.

Also, I love the style of Thompson Family-Life...and the pursuit of all things cute, kitschy, and crafty. Yep, sounds like something that would make me swoon. Her sewing nook is adorable.

monday inspiration

Brian and I would like to buy a few acres of land, on which we will build a barn, a fruit/wine cellar, a garden, a home, a farm. Ideally, the land will be an hour or so west of Portland, towards the coastal mountains. There will be several colonies of bees, chickens to roast and chickens to lay, ducks (if we have a pond), goats, possibly sheep or angora rabbits or some other livestock. With this in mind, Hardworkinghippy's blog "La Ferme de Sourrou" serves as an inspirational blog, filled with photos and notes from her lovely French homestead. She writes, "I find physical work profoundly energising and the exercise helps us get rid of stress and prepares us to live as warriors and not as victims." They are off-the-grid and sustainable, using renewable energy, growing their own food, and raising animals, all things we'd like to incorporate onto our own land. She also has a flickr account filled with photos such as the one above of stevia being propagated.

Julie over at "Towards Sustainability" has set the goal of harvesting, photographing, and posting about at least one item from her garden every day. I love people who set hefty, slightly crazy goals for themselves like that.

Here's an article on growing strawberries by Gayla Trail. I'm also loving Grow Great Grub and would recommend it to any level of gardener because of the surplus of great gardening ideas and eye-catching photos. Here's an interview about the process of creating this book.  


For the arts, I'm loving the slightly whimsical, slightly eerie work of Tamya Mayers. She reminds me a bit of Tim Burton, a little bit fairy tale, a little bit gothic. Plus, there's a little bee!

I do like to cross stitch, and in the past year, I've designed and stitched two of my own pieces, with the itch to design some more of my own and an eye out for some ideas. I like some of stitchnotion's cross-stitching on Etsy, including this adorable sampler with little honeybees.

plant, paint, collage, sew

My project ideas continue to exceed my talents and my time allowance, but that's okay. I'd rather have too many ideas than none. Ideas excite, entice, and enchant. In one week, I'll be handing in my classroom key and entering the world of waiting tables and working around the house on projects such as these (rather than working 50 hours or more a week on teacher stuff. But**sigh**I do love teaching):

I really really want to make a wall planter board. I first saw them at Portland Nursery, and am currently keen on building my own using hens and chicks and perhaps other rock-wall loving plants/succulents.

Part of my front yard is a complete mess of weeds rather than grass, so I've started the job of digging it up and turning in into a bee-friendly garden rich with foxglove, hollyhocks, sage, thyme, buttercups, cosmos, and asters. Plans are in the works.

B-rye uses an ugly fugly box lid to store his mixer in, and I'm going to deck it out all styley cool via collage and perhaps some spray paint. I'm looking forward to that little task.

Since my side of the bed is up against the wall, I want to make myself a colorful linen wall hanging to hold my books, a journal, and possibly a water bottle. I think I'm going for red and turquoise for bedroom colors.

I have been commissioned to sew my friend Kara's curtains, an exciting and slightly daunting task that I intend on facing with full exuberance next week! The Amazing B made my sewing table yesterday which is located right in the heart of our house, next to the hearth, in the living room. So I can sew while we watch movies and hang out.

My gift-giving is still in the conceptual phase more than anything, although I did give away seeds last week. But my gift plans are further advanced, including a semi-developed idea for a mother's day gift and a baby gift for a new mom. I'm skimping on details in case these special people read this post.

waxing moon, raindrops fat

This weekend, in addition to a 13 mile hike along Eagle Creek through the Columbia River Gorge, I flurried with restless, creative, April energy that included a trip to Portland Nursery, a curtain cutting session with my girl Kara, cleaning the chicken coop, composting, scattering seeds

(I just couldn't help myself. I had to get the fairy's meadow!), decorating flower pots, and creating fabulous tomato plant holders out of unused two gallon water containers (See the spout on the bottom right?) into hanging tomato planters. I have to say that this may be one of the best ideas I've had.

The container is large enough for a tomato plant. Plus, I can plant two different plants on either side of the top. Above has basil seeds, and below, I planted marigold and nasturtium seeds. I also threaded the twine into the handle of the container, so I believe it will hold when the tomato plant is full grown and fruiting.

(The vine with the purple plant to the right is a Japanese wisteria; I'm in love with it.)

Yesterday, I planted 12 tomato plants in the beds seen above: orange smudge purple flesh, brandywine, and Oregon spring during a waxing moon and rain, the ideal planting time according to lore. The bushy plants on the left are salmon berries and in the back left is the pea trellis that Brian made out of bamboo.

 Above, my seedlings await planting or gifting. In addition to my salmon berries, my strawberries (transplanted from 18th St) are blooming: I never realized how lacy the petals are until I went to snap this picture.















 

 Here's what the ladies and drones are up to. It's mind blowing to think that they've done all this and more since April 6. If anyone out there sees anything in this photo that a novice like me might not notice and need to worry about, please let me know. I think they're looking pretty good. That third from last comb is being built between two bars, so that's going to need to be moved.

 The rain cleared up earlier this evening. I worked late, and tonight, I'm going to read, sew, eat ice cream, watch tv, chill with kitties, and dream about the artist who built these shelves.

Song of Self

 

In addition to grading papers tonight, I also dug through old graduate school papers. In the midst of my search for a creative writing activity, I discovered several gems: my 11th grade essay on The Great Gatsby, as well as Pandora's Box, our high-school literary journal of which I was poetry editor and poetry and photography contributor. I also stumbled upon an old anthropology paper in which I called European colonialists "metaphoric vampires." On the Gatsby essay, I received a perfect score, having compared Gatsby to the persona in "Crush with Eyeliner" by R.E.M. And while the poem I published in PB is rather hectic and scattered, there's a passion and vivacity of language that's impressive. There's also a self-developed photograph (pre-digital age) that's rather provocative and sharp.

 

 

These findings resurrect a part of myself that I often look back on with doubt, with contempt, with a definitive superiority. So there's a certain sting when I discover ideas and writing from my former self that seems to ring with a creativity and ingenuity more impassioned than today's. But that sting must be quickly brushed aside and met with joy and gratitude and humility.

 

I believe that I sway between being too harsh of a critic on myself and too easy of a critic, looking at my accomplishments with a sort of smug pride. I need to practice balance. I should be able to occasionally rejoice at former accomplishments, allowing them to rejuvenate my self-confidence and celebrate my unique perspective and creativity.

 

 

These archeological findings, of a sort, remind me of my roots and my passion for words and my talent at a time when I truly need it. When doubt knocks on my door. For doubt has been knocking in the form of looming unemployment and job searches and thoughts regarding career changes, etc. Doubt looms, heavily oppressive.

 

Maybe it looms so heavily because I got a perfect score on my Great Gatsby essay. Maybe I'm not used to failure, and now, as a 32-year-old woman during a time of a recession and, oddly enough, as a new gardener/homesteader, I must face the possibility of failure. As a person who refuses to sit still, who embraces new challenges, who feels the need to continue to learn and create, failure will happen. I've always shrunk from it. Time to stop shrinking.

Time to brandish my metaphoric sword. Time to settle in, warrior-style.

follow your bliss

Birthday's are somewhat existential experiences: despite the well-wishings and lavishings of attention from friends and loved-ones, the experience is essentially one that happens alone: only I am turning 32 today and thus, I must look in the mirror alone and reflect. I am primarily responsible for how I got to where I am today, and I steer this craft that guides me into tomorrow. And I have to say that with the exception of financial matters, I am at peace with my past, joyful about the present, and excited about the future. I don't aspire to have this blog serve as a long-winded self-absorbed narrative, but I don't mind sharing a few of my inner observations and reflections. I will state that I hope to give more of myself in the next year, to my family, to my true friends, to my students, and to random strangers. I'm practicing giving that doesn't take from myself: compliments, cards, a sympathetic ear, sharing of ideas, giving my creativity, as opposed to enabling unhealthy and destructive behaviors or allowing others to be greedy of my time or jealous of my happiness. I want to give randomly and frequently from a sense of love and creativity rather than from a position of guilt or coersion. "Follow your bliss," said Joseph Campbell. How easy it is to give when one is heart-fully following one's bliss--at least for the goodhearted.

Speaking of giving, I hope people search their hearts and find a way to help those in Haiti through this terrible situation. $10 will buy some much needed medical supplies. The Clinton Foundation, Habitat for Humanity, World Vision, and the Red Cross are all accepting donations.

New Year's Resolutions

I haven't created any new year's resolutions in a while, but 2009 was a year of amazing growth and productivity, and I'd like to continue my momentum as much as possible. In the past, new year's resolutions seemed like a set up to failure: I'll lose 10 pounds; I'll finally have the body I've always dreamed of; I'll become someone else; blah blah blah.

Instead, I do want to push myself, but I don't want to become a new person. I do want to set goals for myself that may end in failure, but I want to state them and try to achieve them nonetheless, in the hope that I learn a lot along the way and have a blast doing so, just like I had a blast learning how to sew, knit, make tea, and garden in 2009.

So, here they be (warning, some of them may sound enigmatic to all but me or some who closely know me/share these goals):

Garden: This year's garden's primary focus (our first year at this house, with this garden) will be to grow as much fruit, vegetables, and herbs as possible, starting with seeds in February and not ending in fall but continuing on with winter crops. I hope to have enough produce to can, dehydrate, freeze, and give away with the goal of someday having a yard that sustains my need for produce as much as possible. I will make as much of my own compost as I can, including starting my own little worm farm and helping feed my neighbor's chickens greens in exchange for chicken poop. If I find free/cheap bee kits, I will start bee-keeping. Otherwise, I will wait until next year as bee keeping is an expensive trade initially.

Arts/crafts: I want to keep the door open here, but primarily, I want to become a confident seamstress, able to confidently follow a pattern, do applique, and make functional, simple items such as curtains, bags, blankets, and clothes. I would like to continue knitting/crocheting, and I would like to continue the communal aspect of arts/crafts with bi-weekly gatherings with interesting, fun, creative women. Finally, I want to finish my embroidery plan and if I enjoy it, continue with others, because these projects are creative and worthwhile.

Writing: To continue writing for the Examiner, with a minimum of 2 articles per month. Also, to start researching for and testing my own ideas out, taking notes, and writing drafts for my book. In a year from now, I should be ready to start compiling notes for a first draft.

Reading: 50 books.

BRC: City Stories. Collaborative art project, mixed media.

Career: to get a full-time teaching job or figure out something else...my own business? go back to school?

2010, I've got a big grin on my face. The joy of beautiful work, wonderful friends, beloved family. Here we go!

Creation is.

There is so much talent out there. Inspiration in every nook. It floods me, fills me up. I want to shout! I want to dance! I want to add to the beauty of the world, to celebrate it by becoming a part of it. It's incredible to think about the lives of people, and how they have destroyed or created (Hitler vs. da Vinci for example). And then there's the nuance. Many of us destroy and create. I believe that a beautiful life is one lived in the pursuit of creation. Creation is love incarnate. Creation is god.