10 list

A teaser of my wedding dress

I missed this post last week, and I almost missed it this week. But I honestly feel that taking the time to have gratitude for the things in my life at present is transforming me. To put it simply, I am happier. I am learning to be more compassionate and less controlling, more accepting of myself and those around me, less reactive to stressful situations, and more joyful. Every moment is a new moment and a clean slate. Every day is sacred.

Here are some things in my life that rock my socks!

1. Soak, a festival of fire, music, dancing, gifting, volunteerism, waterfalls, and rain (and much more!) that I went to with friends and learned to love my friends and self more and more.
2. Going to get my wedding dress yesterday and trying it on for the first time!!!
3. The life of Kentucky (more on this to come in a future post).
4. The fact that it's summer vaca and yesterday I forgot that it was Friday, the day I normally would post this!
5. Being able to sit with a delicious egg and spinach burrito and a cup of coffee while writing.
6. The beautiful, beautiful people in my life. This is really one of the great things about getting older, isn't it? We learn what kind of people we want to surround ourselves with, and our friends are our friends purely because we love each other and that's all we have to gain from each other, is the joy of love.
7. The smell of jasmine in bloom.
8. Hot showers.
9. The many many many beautiful moments that make up a wedding day, because a wedding is more than just that one day: it's shopping with friends, toasting with friends, crafting with friends, solitary musings over vows, choosing readings with your loved one, the shared excitement and joy at the life you've chosen, texting mom questions, texting sisters questions...So many moments shared with so many people, all special.
10. Geraniums blooming in pots on porches.

What are you grateful for? Happy weekend. xo.

10 list

Gratitude brings us closer to the present moment. We become more engaged and more awake when we fill our lives and hearts with gratitude. This is something worth striving for every day, every moment.

1. Iced tea made from loose-leaf darjeeling.
2. Sun-soaked morning.
3. Sun-soaked afternoon.
4. A kitty meowing for attention.
5. The first day of summer vacation.
6. The smell of incense.
7. A freshly cleaned house.
8. Life's synchronicities.
9. A morning bike ride.
10. Now.

Have a wonderful weekend. xo.

10 list

"T" by Jacob Magraw.

While my American literature students read The Great Gatsby, I was again struck by the importance of gratitude in our lives. These characters are corrupt, hollow men and women. They follow the siren song of the American Dream, or live in spiritless boredom, destroying everything around them, once they have it. They have no gratitude, only desire. Only greed, hunger, and  the belief that they will be filled by something that will only continue to eat them.

Thus, with great gratitude, I present my list for this week:
1. This beautiful and inspiring garden of "T" by the Seattle artist Jacob Magraw. So lovely.
2. Beginning a morning ritual, even if it's just a few simple, slight changes to my morning routine.
3. Being a teacher.
4. Having the ability to surround myself with people who inspire me and push me to do better, be better.
5. A moonlit bike ride over the St. John's bridge.
6. My breath.
7. For you, reader.
8. Digging in the dirt, planting food and flowers.
9. Self-improvement and growth. I am a garden that I must tend.
10. Stories.

the 10 list

This week gratitude comes a day late, at least in written form. That's because I have a four-day weekend and was busy sleeping in, browsing through vintage and antique shops in my neighborhood, grading at a local coffee shop, and enjoying food and companionship with friends yesterday. Today, a quiet day of planting strawberries, reading, and sewing.

Which leads me right into this week's 10 list:

1. Delicious eggs from home with home-grown greens and amazing toast with brie and vinaigrette with three amazing people who are artists and teachers, passionate about permaculture, spiritual leadership, and creativity.
2. Eating dinner with two people who are passionate about reading, surrounding ourselves with books and dreaming of all the great reading we're going to do this summer.
3. Discovering a book on my book shelf that I want to read but thought was lost.
4. Having a creative project turn out better than expected.
5. Cloudy Portland days: while I don't like them everyday, they are emblematic of this lovely piece of the world and I love them, sometimes.
6. The way Forest Park wraps around St. John's and reminds me so much of the Appalachian Mts. where I grew up.
7. That next week the St. John's farmer's market opens for the season! And it's only 4 blocks from my house!!!
8. My sweet friends who hosted a lovely wedding shower for me and helped me make flag pendants to decorate the wedding with.
9. Being able to write, plant, and create.
10. Today.

What are you grateful for? xo.

10 List

Of course, grateful for this little guy.

A lot of grading and a severe sinus infection have prevented me from posting much of late--or accomplishing much. But I am visualizing health and manifesting a wonderful weekend. It is Friday, the day I like to dedicate here to gratitude. Being grateful for the beauty in our world--consciously reminding ourselves, every day, of that beauty, helps inspire us to create more beauty.

And so here are 10 things on my list right now:

1. My cold is past the worst and I'm on my way back to golden health.
2. My cousin's hubby got accepted into Penn State for engineering.
3. This weekend is my local bridal shower with some of my best Portland girls!
4. Sunshine in Portland for 2 weeks straight!
5. That my friends have a brand new, healthy, beautiful baby girl.
6. Being industrious and getting my house cleaning out of the way first thing so that it's not hanging over my head all weekend. (Now I should sit and do some grading.)
7. Having an amazing yard with so much potential for ducks, chickens, bees, fruit, veggies, flowers, herbs.
8. Discovering the loveliness of the roses, irises, lillies, and columbine that have been planted here before we moved in.
9. Herb spirals.
10. Fresh eggs.

What are you grateful for in your life? xo.

Irises and columbine along one side of our house.

10 List

Gratitude is in part about recognizing that wherever we want to end up comes second to the present moment and the process or journey of achieving our dreams and goals. I have many goals. But often, when I achieve a goal, the sense of accomplishment is no more special or gratifying than the many steps I took and ways I learned and changed along that goal's path. And sometimes my goals change. And that's okay too: it doesn't mean that I failed. It means I grew and reflected and thought about where I really want to be and what truly makes me happy.

Here are ten things that I feel grateful for having in my life right now, as is.

1. Being reminded that the present moment is sacred.
2. A fantastic yoga class.
3. Being invited to join a book club to study the Yoga Sutras.
4. Having a really fun engagement photo shoot with my man.
5. That little Leno (Puddles the cat) seems to be feeling better and eating more.
6. Having found a really inspiring and wonderful poem that we can't wait to share on our wedding day.
7. Finding a craft that truly makes me feel joyful during the process: embroidery.
8. Irises in bloom.
9. My loved ones, both family and friends.
10. Gaining a stronger sense of the things that make me happy.

xo. Happy week ending and Cinco de Mayo.

The 10 List

A moment of gratitude to end the week. What small, almost-unnoticed or wonderful, monumental moments are you grateful for in your life?

1. The smell of cut grass.
2. The smell of spring rain.
3. Pink petals raining down from the trees.
4. Knowing that those who seem the happiest work hard for their happiness through focus on physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual health (there's a comfort/inspiration in that fact).
5. Escaping from jury duty unscathed.
6. Food carts and bubble tea.
7. The blossoming of a new book club!
8. Being inspired by a friend who is an artist and full of light and energy.
9. Making handmade wedding invites and knowing that these are some of the most important invitations I'll ever make in my life!
10. Being able to listen when someone just needs to talk.

xo.

10 list

another stressful week at work. 37 million dollars cut from the current budget for next school year. this after several years of consistent cuts. the result is the elimination of numerous teaching positions, including 12 positions at our school, or a 17% cut in teachers. I won't know if I have a job next year until July, maybe August.


so in these times of stress and anxiety, it's MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVER to savor life and live fully and mindfully in the moment. because, what else can we do, right? we can be told that we need to worry and then worry. or we can accept grim realities as possibilities, nod at their existence, and then continue to love, laugh, learn, create, grow, and give.


so here are a mere 10 things that I want to share with you this week that I am grateful for.

1. Helping students dig through stacks of poetry and discover poems that they enjoy.
2. Fresh homemade bread, made from scratch by my sweetie.
3. Amazing vegetarian chili made from scratch by my sweetie.
4. Tulip season.
5. That tax season is over and that we got a refund! Whoo hoo!
6. Learning new embroidery stitches.
7. The beautiful dark pink cherry tree in bloom outside of my classroom window.
8. Having the house to ourselves for 10 days while our roommate visits his family. Love our roommate but it's nice to have the house to ourselves.
9. My amazing friend offered to throw me a bridal shower!
10. Our house. Seriously. Yesterday I was remembering last August when we first looked at the house and how you couldn't stand to be upstairs for longer than three or four inhales. The carpet and subfloor were saturated in dog piss. The walls were a putrid salmon color. We've worked hard this year, and now it might look like a bright Easter egg (because of my color choices), but it's our egg. And it's bright and clean and happy that we live there.

What are you grateful for in your life?
xo.

10 List

Our tulip magnolia in full glory

This week, with my freshmen, we read two of Pablo Neruda's "Odes," celebrations of the ordinary and wonderful. Beautiful, shining poems about enjoying the little things in life. Wonderful celebrations of gratitude.

Here are some of the things I would consider writing odes about:
1. That I got to speak to three out of four of my bridesmaids on the phone this week, even though they are all far far away. One called me from the Sea of Cortez!
2. Getting to spend quality time with a friend who I haven't been able to spend quality time with in way too long.
3. Pickled onions.
4. Sunshine! And a weekend forecast that promises more.
5. How my chickens run to me every time I go outside, asking for treats and some affection. They are such silly girls.
6. Being able to work from home today.
7. Seeing a bald eagle swoop over the river and into the forest while hiking near my house last week.
8. Spying on my fiance while he builds me a St. Johns-bridge-inspired archway/gate outside in the side yard (where the chickens, ducks, and duck pond will live someday).
9. Spring sunsets with clouds wreathing Forest Park.
10. Dandelions.

One of our bees enjoys a dandelion

Ode To an Artichoke by Pablo Neruda

The artichoke
of delicate heart
erect
in its battle-dress, builds
its minimal cupola;
keeps
stark
in its scallop of
scales.
Around it,
demoniac vegetables
bristle their thicknesses,
devise
tendrils and belfries,
the bulb's agitations;
while under the subsoil
the carrot
sleeps sound in its
rusty mustaches.
Runner and filaments
bleach in the vineyards,
whereon rise the vines.
The sedulous cabbage
arranges its petticoats;
oregano
sweetens a world;
and the artichoke
dulcetly there in a gardenplot,
armed for a skirmish,
goes proud
in its pomegranate
burnishes.
Till, on a day,
each by the other,
the artichoke moves
to its dream
of a market place
in the big willow
hoppers:
a battle formation.
Most warlike
of defilades-
with men
in the market stalls,
white shirts
in the soup-greens,
artichoke field marshals,
close-order conclaves,
commands, detonations,
and voices,
a crashing of crate staves.

And
Maria
come
down
with her hamper
to
make trial
of an artichoke:
she reflects, she examines,
she candles them up to the light like an egg,
never flinching;
she bargains,
she tumbles her prize
in a market bag
among shoes and a
cabbage head,
a bottle
of vinegar; is back
in her kitchen.
The artichoke drowns in a pot.

So you have it:
a vegetable, armed,
a profession
(call it an artichoke)
whose end
is millennial.
We taste of that
sweetness,
dismembering scale after scale.
We eat of a halcyon paste:
it is green at the artichoke heart.

10 List

This week, the 10 list may turn into the twenty list. Despite a head cold, that can make things seem a bit glum at 3 a.m., I have a lot to be grateful for this week:

*Going to Manzanita and Short Sands last weekend where the weather was sunny and spring-like.
*Putting on the wet-suit and body surfing, catching a few great rides into shore.
*Getting to stay in this house in Manzanita and savor this amazing view.

*Seeing whales feed about half a mile off-shore while we ate chowder at Mo's in Cannon Beach.
*Brian ordering parts to build a Langstroth beehive for me.
*Brian building a trench and adding drainage and a nice pebbled walkway around the sides of our house to protect our foundation.
*Brian taking me to pick out a wedding ring.
*Brian making me laugh until my sides hurt.
*Fresh spring eggs with marigold-colored yolks.
*Perfectly roasted beets with vinegar, salt, and olive oil.
*Starting spring break last week by working with students and teachers to make browned-bag lunches for the homeless.
*Spending five days sleeping in and then lounging around the house, working on craft and wedding projects or reading or cooking delicious savory meals.
*Tulip magnolia season.

10 List

I am in the processing of finishing my first embroidery portrait. Not bad for my first attempt, although I feel that it falls far short of my grandmother's adorable charm in the photograph. The more I look at this photo at her, the more I am struck by how uniquely beautiful she was. The final step is to applique the piece to fabric and frame it, and I have a few prints in contention for the job. A lovely butterfly print left over from an apron that I made for my sister; a simple turquoise polka-dotted print; and a flower print with greens, browns, and turquoise. I think I really bit off a large challenge for this first attempt because of her smile. It's so unique and toothy, and I probably would have had an easier time if I'd chosen a photo with a closed-mouth smile.

Here's what I am grateful for this week.
1. Both of my grandmothers, Rita and Eva. Aren't those both beautiful names as well?
2. Spring break begins today!
3. Green, blue and purple signs of spring.

4. The amazing massage that my friend Dan gave me yesterday, during which I was able to enter a deep state of relaxation.
5. Creative projects!
6. Dreading going on a run and then having a wonderful run during which I can process stress and develop ideas.
7. Watching students grow.
8. The fact that my class is over!
9. Celebrating the end of my class at Dove ViVi! Yum! Deep dish cornbread pizza with amazing local sausage!
10. My chickens and their wonderful eggs. And if I'm not wrong, I think the creatures are becoming more affectionate. I swear they love getting petted and nuzzled when I go outside to visit them.

In addition to finishing my grandmother's portrait, my next project is this Luck Jackson pattern that I purchased from her shop. I've read that great writers will sometimes, in moments of writer's block or frustration, copy the writing of those who inspire them. They will type out poems or entire chapters, and doing so will help them learn the rhythm and cadence of other writers. Annie Dillard says in The Writing Life:


On break, I usually read Conrad Aiken's poetry aloud. It was pure sound unencumbered by sense. If I ever caught a poem's sense by accident, I could never use that poem again. I often read the Senlin poems, and "Sea Holly." Some days I read part of any poetry anthology's index of first lines. The parallels sounded strong and suggestive. They could set me off, perhaps.

This is one of the reasons I bought Lucky Jackson's pattern. Not only do I like it, but I feel that I can learn some techniques by copying and sewing from another's design. That's the hope. The pattern is smaller and more detailed than the portrait outline of my grandmother, so that alone will be a good challenge.

10 List

When your honey gets his pink slip for next year and when your job is also at risk, gratitude becomes more important than ever and more difficult to find, but then, in the details that are often overlooked, there is beauty.

1. a run through the late-winter rain
2. the smell of chocolate wafting from Moonstruck Chocolate Company
3. sunshine streaming through the blinds for just a moment
4. fried chicken-macaroni and cheese-collard green pizza
5. a cute new haircut
6. the smell of cherry blossoms
7. freshly sanded and stained hard-wood (old wood!) stairs
8. friends who say calming and kind words
9. being able to return those calming and kind words to a student or friend
10. the soothing power of creativity

When we are grateful for our own potential, our own talents, and our own gifts, it's possible to find peace and hope. Here's a meditation that focuses on gratitude and its power in our lives. Give it a try, especially if you're feeling particularly stressed.

the 10 list and other goodies

A few moments of gratitude, reflection, inspiration, and goal setting are needed right now after an exhausting day. I helped facilitate two staff meetings today, which I find to be emotionally challenging. While I am comfortable standing up in front of students, I find it much more disconcerting to stand in front of colleagues. But it's over and the weekend has, as they say, landed.

Big things on the G-list this week! Here's what I am grateful for:

1. For starters, I think I can confirm that the tree in the back yard is indeed a tulip magnolia! I can see some of the upper buds turning pink and starting to bloom. This is one of my favorite trees in the spring time, which means that I now have a redbud, an apple, and a tulip magnolia! Hooray! Hoorah! Stay tuned for many photos, I am sure.
2. One of the miniature iris bulbs that I planted in January bloomed today! It seems crazy early for an iris to bloom, but there it was, beckoning me, as I walked from my car back inside this afternoon.
3. I have an entire weekend with very little planned (except for about 100 goals which I will write about momentarily).
4. That despite feeling like I was coming down with a cold, I did not get sick! Go garlic, cilantro, ginger, and elderberry extract!
5. Sun! Lots of wonderful sun this week!
6. That Brian spent an entire day working so hard on sanding our stairs, and he even started to stain them. So soon our stairs will be fixed up and looking new-old!
7. That we booked our caterer, and she's sweet and excited and really loves food and her job and our ideas about our wedding.
8. That spring break is only 2 weeks away.
9. That I got to go snow shoeing with my dear friend last weekend on Mt. Hood, and we got great exercise and had a blast together.
10. And I am grateful that there is so much love in my life.

What are you grateful for? I share this list, because by forcing myself to write it, I reflect on the positive aspects of my life, and I feel more at peace. I feel ten times more relaxed after having created that list than I did before I started it. It's almost a form of meditation.

And since I didn't write about my goals for this week, I want to share some projects and set some weekend goals for myself (some dull, some fun, some challenging):
-to fix my bike (or have someone fix it for me). "Can you do me a huge favor?"
-to clean my car--at least throw some of the shit away and clean my dashboard.
-run 5 miles
-do one other workout (hike? bike? yoga? another run?)
-finish curtains,damnit! I just have to hem them, but ugh, hemming is such a drag.
-harvest bees' honey, but only if the weather cooperates (and it looks like it's supposed to rain, rain, rain.)
-finish grading IB film reflections
-catch up on sleep
-have friends over for potluck/movie/craft night tomorrow
-read in bed
-craft something
-cook something
-pick up house (dust a bit, sweep a bit, straighten a bit)

Happy weekend!

The 10 List

Exclamation points galore this week! Wedding excitement comes in waves, and lately, I'm fluttery with excitement, joy, and gratitude!

1. There's a surf board on our car, which means we're going to the beach! Manzanita getaway!
2. Moist, decadent brownies.
3. Yeasty, salty bagels.
4. Daydreaming about being a bride!
5. Good advice, like this: "It's not the stuff you had at your wedding or the way your wedding looked that you'll remember. It's the way that you felt that you'll remember."
6. Sitting around watching "Downton Abbey" and looking at dresses on-line with the girls.
7. Having my professor ask me if he can use my essay as an example for struggling students: score!
8. Having embroidery projects, books, wine, and other delectable delectables packed for the beach getaway!
9. Grooveshark! Did you guys know about this? It's amazing!
10. Watching the new moon and sun set behind Forest Park from my front porch.

The 10 List

Here's what I'm grateful for this week:

1. That we found a caterer for our wedding who serves organic, local food that is simple, in-season, and delicious.
2. That certain causes of stress in the past few days turned into sources of excitement and joy! Sometimes uncertainty leads to positive outcomes.
3. For my new walk-in closet, made by my man!
4. The library. I love the library.
5. That I do not have to proctor the state writing test again for at least another year.
6. That I'm getting a massage tonight!
7. Being able to look at things in a new light.
8. Friends who make me feel calm, positive, and loved.
9. Celebrating the success of a loved one!
10. Crossing things off of the to-do list.

What are you grateful for today or this week or this month?

speaking gratitude

 1. Not only is it Friday, but it's blindingly, spectacularly sunny!
2. The sun is slated to last all weekend long!
3. People are smiling and friendly and exuberant...maybe because it's sunny!
4. Going dancing with friends to 80s music!
5. A weekend slated for projects, crafts, cooking, bike rides, and kite flying.
6. The smell of artisan chocolate on my runs past Moonstruck Chocolate Co.
7. The Willamette River reflecting the twilight on my runs.
8. Being healthy enough to run.
9. That my handyman fiance is building me a walk-in closet!
10. Sipping coffee in the sunshine with an enticing novel.

What are you grateful for?

speaking gratitude

1. being able to listen
2. being able to offer help or love to friends
3. chickens squawking for attention
4. greeting my flaws as if they were friends rather than enemies (they're easier to work with that way)
5. waking up next to someone you love
6. fog on the hills
7. hot coffee with real cream, rather than milk
8. making new connections with people
9. homemade potato pancakes with Greek yogurt and Siracha
10. inside jokes, like "glorified butter"

What are you grateful for?

speaking gratitude

It's Friday, and time for reflection on gratitude.

1. books, words, stories, poetry
2. friendship; friends who provide a sense of safety. they won't manipulate you. they won't tell your secrets.
3. raindrops dripping from green leaves outside the window.
4. being inside in the warmth and light during a cold rain.
5. having the freedom to make one's own choices.
6. being told that someone was saying something nice about the work i've done as a teacher.
7. pizza nights, caramelized onions, bleu cheese, pear slices, bacon, cheese, sauce, homemade crust
8. welcoming those who need a place into my home
9. sleeping in on a saturday morning
10. happy, happy hour on a friday!

The 10 List

It's Friday. Here are ten things for which I am grateful.

1. Oh, so grateful for the fact that it's almost winter break and I have two weeks off to work out, to read, to paint my house, to decorate my house, to spend time with friends, to sleep in, etc!
2. I'm grateful that our friends got us 10-day gym passes to use over break! My lazy butt needs some exercise!
3. That I am healthy right now (even if I'm out of shape).
4. That my mom, dad, and sisters are healthy.
5. That I found two great and affordable photographers for the wedding.
6. I'm grateful for my family, all of them, even though I miss them a lot right now.
7. Grateful for our Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Hopefully I will be able to upload pictures soon.
8. Coffee. I am, every day, grateful for coffee.
9. Grateful that I have someone in my life who loves me a lot, even when I don't love myself that much.
10. I'm grateful for having such an intense, challenging, fun job that keeps me connected to kids, creativity, intellectual growth, and forces me to examine how I treat those around me--and that I always strive (though don't always succeed) to do so in a compassionate, patient manner--on a daily basis.

Wow. Some big, some small. What are you grateful for?